Pause, for effect . . . or is it affect?

My writing has always been angled towards younger readers (12+) but sometimes I can't resist adding a bit of doom-and-gloom to the pages. My goal in the Devoid series is to craft a set of books that's easy to read for early teens, but also in depth enough (for those who bring scuba-gear when they read) that a college graduate could write their essays on it. Here is my favorite quote from book 2, Alma Kul!